About Me

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Watkinsville, Georgia, United States
We lost my beautiful wife of 20 years on 9/12/07. Lisa was my world she was my everything and now she is gone. We are learning to live without Lisa now. I say we because I am not alone. My children are stuck in this mess with me. These are my notes, my vent, my way of letting you all know that we are doing well (some days). This is for myself, my friends and my family that want to know how we are doing and what we are up to. Along the way I hope this might also help someone else who has been dealt a similar hand.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

JTE's Question

What am I doing now?
That’s an excellent question.  I think more than anything I’m enjoying being ME.  You know…, just enjoying being responsible for just me.  There is a certain degree of pleasure in knowing that I can do what I want, when I want to.  I can come and go pretty much without a care in the world.  I don’t feel pressured to rush out of the office in the afternoon because I feel like I need to fulfill some parental responsibility of some kind at home.  It’s hard to explain…  I guess what I’m saying is, I feel like I just finished running a four and a half year marathon and now I’m resting and catching my breath.  That’s about the best way I can think of to explain it.  Of course, while I’m enjoying this respite from parenting, I’m also staying busy and occupied so that the quiet of my now empty house doesn’t consume me with negative feelings.
I’ve join a gym recently.  This gives me a good reason to get out of the house several nights each week.  Not to mention, it’s good for me and probably way past due.  Additionally, I have been working on a really big project that I’ve been wanting to tackle for some time now.  I’m installing a brand new four-board fence along my road frontage.  I’ve been working on it for over a month now and I’m only about half way finished.  With warmer days coming on, I may have to pull of this project until we get some cooler weather this fall.
I’ve also been working in a new direction for me…  As I mentioned in my previous post “someday” is here now and I find myself looking for ways to fill yet another void in my life with the kids both out of the house.  Now don’t get me wrong… It’s not like I don’t have a full-time job and plenty to keep me busy here on my property.  However, I do work a four-day schedule which gives me a three-day weekend most of the year.  That three-day weekend has definitely been a blessing while acting as a single father over the last four and a half years.  It has allowed me the time to take care of things that most folks are forced to deal with over a two-day weekend.  That being said, I long for more than the gym and working on my property…
For that reason, I have been exploring volunteer opportunities that interest me.  Of course, as with most things in my life, I am very picky about where I am willing to donate my time, talents or finances.  And due to that I have found very few of these opportunities.  I have found one, however, that I have agreed to be a part of next month and it’s called Camp Rainbow.
Camp Rainbow is a week-long camp that is dedicated to serving children ages 4 to 16 with cancer or rare blood disorders.  This camp, for many of the kids, is the only time they are not with their parents and gives them and the parents a much needed break from the rigors of their medical conditions.  It also gives them the opportunity to just be kids for six days.  They get to participate in activities that many of them have never had the chance to participate in.  There is horseback riding, swimming, archery, nature trails, a climbing wall and ropes course and much more.  It’s just like a normal summer camp for kids but with all the medical staff and support that these particular kids need.
Of course, I have always enjoyed working with kids and there is nothing  I like better than being outside.  So this seems to be a perfect fit for me and I’m looking forward to the week and what it brings.  And, while I am excited to be involved in this, I do have my guard up since I can’t help but think that I will more than likely experience some very heart wrenching moments with these children.  Keep in mind that most of these kids have terminal illnesses.
If you would like to know more about Camp Rainbow, check out the link that I have included.  There is much more information there and if you’re interested in supporting this program there is also information concerning making a donation.
I’ll try to be sure and post an update after camp.
There you have it… That’s what I’ve been up to.  …bet you thought I was going to talk about dating…:)
P.S. – Thanks for the kind comments!  It’s always nice to know that you have been missed.