20

It’s been a while since I have written anything for this venue.  I have been doing more private journaling and find it to be more helpful at times since I can write anything in my private journal.  There’s much that I don’t share here and probably never will.  So I keep some things locked away in my journal.  After all, believe it or not, I am actually a fairly private person…

Both the kids have been gone for the last couple of weeks and I have been, for the most part, alone with just the dogs.  Of course, with Anna (my big Bernie’s) spending almost every waking hour rolling around under the deck, it’s really just me and Ally (Lisa’s little Yorkshire).  Except for dinner with a few close friends it’s been pretty quiet.  I have grown to appreciate the quiet and actually look forward to it now.  That’s a far cry from where I was two years ago!

Someone asked me earlier this week if I still miss Lisa.  My answer was yes, without a doubt I still miss her.  However, I no longer am deeply and painfully grieving.  I think that I have just recently move to the point that I just miss her very much rather than mourn her loss. The days of going to sleep and waking up with her constantly on my mind are less frequent now.  Seldom do I have tear filled days with that raw emotion that welled up from deep inside me.  Yes I still think about her more than you might imagine but not constantly day in and day out.  So, yes I still miss her and probably always will.

Matt will be driving himself back from Jacksonville tomorrow.  He did a great job following me down last weekend so I am confident that he will find his way home without incident.  I’m actually surprised that he has not called to ask if he can stay another week.  After all, where would you rather spend a week of your summer vacation?  Watkinsville or Jacksonville?  Hopefully her will roll out of the bed before noon since it’s a six hour drive. 

I no longer have two teenagers since yesterday was Abby’s 20^th birthday.  We had a good weekend together and had some good talks.  I can see her changing before my eyes.  Trying hard to be an adult and move beyond childish ways.  It’s been good having her come home from camp on the weekends.  It’s giving us a chance to get used to her being back at home a little each week.  She will be home full time in just another couple of weeks.  I suppose we’ll see how that goes.  Matt and I will need a little time to get used to having her home and I’m sure she will need a bit of time getting used to being here her self.