And, things seem so much different these days. I don’t feel the date weighing me down or looming over me anymore. I feel more alive than I have in four years OR at least a whole lot less dead than I felt over the last four years. I feel as though I can breathe again… The kids and I have survived. It hasn’t always been pretty and it was never very easy but we have made it this far.
I find myself looking to the future more these days. Looking toward days filled with joy and excitement. I look forward to going to the beach once again or driving to the mountains again. I look forward to loving and being loved again. I look forward to all those things that will and can be. I look forward to sharing my life and time with someone again. While I may never get that chance just the fact that it is possible gives me great joy.
While, it’s true that I have experienced much anguish and pain from Lisa’s loss, I have seen good come from it too. Her loss has change many and all of those for the better. None, more than myself I would say. I like to think that I have become a better father and a better person in total. Lisa touched many in life and in death. On Sunday, Pastor Tony mentioned Lisa in his sermon. He spoke about how even within great tragedy comes hope and good. He told a story of a woman whom his wife, Trish, knows. This woman told Trish how she had attended Lisa’s memorial service and right there in the service received Christ into her life. Saved at a funeral… Who would have thought it…
We still miss her terribly and the hole she left in our lives may never be filled. However, the hole in our hearts has slowly healed and will continue to do so. We couldn’t have gotten this far without the support and love of our family and friends. Even so, I continue to be amazed at our resilience and our power to continue in our Life Without Lisa.