About Me

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Watkinsville, Georgia, United States
We lost my beautiful wife of 20 years on 9/12/07. Lisa was my world she was my everything and now she is gone. We are learning to live without Lisa now. I say we because I am not alone. My children are stuck in this mess with me. These are my notes, my vent, my way of letting you all know that we are doing well (some days). This is for myself, my friends and my family that want to know how we are doing and what we are up to. Along the way I hope this might also help someone else who has been dealt a similar hand.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Spiffy New Doors

We finally had some nice weather and I was able to get the new garage/shop doors and gutters installed.

In sharp contrast to last weekend as you can see by all the snow.

The place is looking good!  Now all I have to do is get the stone path and stacked stone walls installed and the outside of the place is in pretty good shape.  Well, almost… 

I know there is always something to do around here.  That’s what happens when you buy a fixer-upper.  You get one item crossed of your list and move on to the next item.  And there’s always a next item.

But don’t those new doors look spiffy?

Friday, February 19, 2010

Red Milk

As holidays go, Valentine’s Day is one of the more treacherous ones for me.  Valentine’s Day has a tendency to sneak up from behind and then jump out in front of me at last moment. 

The kids still miss the heart shaped cookies that Lisa made them.  Heck, Abby is nineteen and still talks about how much she misses the red food dye in her breakfast milk on Valentine’s Day.  Not to mention, they still expect me to do a little something for them on all these mass produced and repetitive holidays.  I think they would like, at the very least, milk with red food dye and maybe a little red bag with some sort of goodies and or a small gift or two.  You know, like mom used to do.  Would they give me any grief if I did nothing, of course not.  However, if I can make it hurt just a tiny bit less by doing a little something for them, then what the heck… 

This year was not so bad.   I have had my mind on other things but I still knew that Valentine’s Day fell on Sunday this year.  So, this year I took precautions.  I knew Pastor Tony would be in rare form on Sunday.  I was sure that he would render a Valentine’s Day sermon to be remembered.  Considering he is a devoted Husband, I had no doubt that he would take full advantage of the day and be prepared with plenty of laughs and some solid marital advise.  So, I planned accordingly and ditched church.

I came up with a plan to make it a boys day out.  After all, Abby was spending her day with boyfriend of the month.  I decided it was time for another highbrow cultural excursion into Atlanta.  I convinced Matt and his buddy William to go to the High Museum in Atlanta for the day.  We saw the Leonardo DaVinci exhibit.  It was an awesome experience and some of the works in bronze (most by other artists) just left me speechless. 

Without exception, I always have a good time with the boys.  When it’s just us guys it’s a drama free day.  The only issue tends to be over exuberance.  That’s typically easily rendered with a glancing blow to the back of the head (I’m just kidding so don’t go turning me in to the state department of child services or anything!!).

The day pretty much passed without a hitch.  Later that evening Baby Girl was able to ditch the boyfriend and make it out to the farm.  Once it was finally just the three of us I passed out those little red bags filled with goodies.  I will never pretend to believe that I do as good a job with these things as Lisa did.  I do believe, however, the kids will never forget how much she loved them and that I always will (even if I don’t do the red food dye in the milk).

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Big Step

I finally feel like I am in a place that will allow me to breathe a little bit. So, I finally did something that many have encouraged me to do for some time now. This is a big move and I have not taken my decision in this area lightly. I have thought about this move many times and have been close to pulling the trigger on it more than once. (Okay, maybe I could have chosen a better way to describe this than “pulling the trigger”. Get back in your chair and continue reading) You can also imagine that I wonder how Lisa might feel about this step. I have had more than one person also try to push me forward in this area.

My little buddy Jamie has been pestering the crap out of me since just about day one. She has all but mandated that I take this step. She has chastised me, cajoled me, and even attempted to shame me into it. She would not rest until I took this step. She has texted me, e-mailed me and called me for over two years. She has continued to badger me and has been unrelenting and un apologetic the entire time. I of course know, while she has been aggravating, abrasive and overbearing, she just loves me and only wants to help me move forward.

Others have just patiently and methodically gave me gentle persuasion. Softly pushing me and encouraging me to take this step. They have not pushed too hard nor too often. They have just nudged me from time to time. They too just want me to be able to breathe and move forward and be happy and content.

This in comparison to Jamie’s “baseball bat to the head approach” is a more palatable and never unwelcome approach.

So yes I did it, I really did it… I took that big step that probably every widower and maybe widow has at minimum talked about or at least considered while sitting in the dark alone at night. It’s a step that some feel more comfortable in taking early on while some travel far on this path before they realize it’s time. Then again, some I think, just cave in and can’t stand continuing another step without making this all important change.

My friends, it is now my time… I wanted you all to hear it from me. There is a new woman in my life… I finally hired a part time housekeeper!

Maybe Jamie will stop haunting me now?

Sunday, February 7, 2010

What's For Dinner

While catching up on some blog reading this morning, I realized that I had not posted anything since Thursday.

Well sorry kids…

I write when I feel moved to write and don’t when I don’t. Tonight, I do…

All is right in the world, well at least my world, as I know it today.  I say, as I know it today because it always seems to change so stinking fast.  It seems like there is always something changing and sometimes life has to grab me by the neck screaming and kicking and drag me forward through that change.  Then again, sometimes I go willingly.  Go figure…

So, as I said, all is right - I think…

Abby is spending a second night here with us and managing to drive us only a little crazy.  I think I need to get one of those custom signs that say “drama free zone” and hang it on the kitchen door.  She is finally settling in and is sitting at the kitchen table studying.  Matt is in the back room studying. Well, Matt may actually be pretending to study!  And here I am with you.  So what do you want to know? 

Do you want to know that we went to church today?  Do you want to know that it was awesome?  Do you want to know that I might finally understand why all those folks in the choir smile so much?  Do you want to know that I had lunch with my kids after that?  Do you want to know that it was just the three of us?  Do you want to know that we laughed and enjoyed just being with each other?  Do you want to know that I came home and washed three loads of clothes that belong to a college student that has a washer and dryer IN HER APARTMENT?  Let me know if you figure that one out… Do you want to know that I fixed a big home cooked meal tonight?

If you don’t want to know all that, maybe you just want to know that we are fine and are still learning to breath and live again.  We are you know.  We are learning every day.  I myself might even be getting better at it.  Yeah, I also know that might be a matter of opinion.

What’s that?  Oh, you say you want to know what I made for dinner?

That’s a little personal isn’t it…?

Thursday, February 4, 2010


Well we have our first detention behind us.  The little law-breaker stayed after school Tuesday to pay his penance.  When he got home he told me that it was not as bad as he thought it was going to be.  He did his time without incident and hopefully he will not graduate to something more devious than being late due to breakfast with dad.  The picture that I’ve attached is his detention slip that he threw on my desk when he got home.  Just in case you cant make out what he wrote on the note with a marker before he gave it to me, its says “Some things are worth the trouble”.  I agree in more ways than most human beings will ever know…

and if I could have figured out how to rotate the stupid picture, I would have…