About Me

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Watkinsville, Georgia, United States
We lost my beautiful wife of 20 years on 9/12/07. Lisa was my world she was my everything and now she is gone. We are learning to live without Lisa now. I say we because I am not alone. My children are stuck in this mess with me. These are my notes, my vent, my way of letting you all know that we are doing well (some days). This is for myself, my friends and my family that want to know how we are doing and what we are up to. Along the way I hope this might also help someone else who has been dealt a similar hand.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A Boy and His Cow

I have to say, I really didn’t expect Matt to walk in the door from the livestock show with tears in his eyes.  I knew he had grown attached to Pancake, his calf, but this took me a bit by surprise.

The moment the door opened I could tell something was wrong.  His eyes were swollen and red.  I was immediately concerned and asked him what was wrong.  All he could mutter before he broke into tears was “I miss my cow”. 

At first, I wasn’t sure if I was going to laugh or tear up myself.  Of course, I wound up in tears along with him.  Who could blame him though?  That little calf had a sweet disposition and every time he went to the barn to feed her she ran to him like a big black and white puppy.  Heck I’m going to miss her myself.  I felt so bad for the boy I even offered to buy her from the dairy that had loaned her to us.  Matt declined stating that she was where she needed to be.  Besides, we might even get lucky and get her back in October.

As for the livestock show, Matt didn’t place in showmanship but he did place 6th in state for his weight class.  Not too bad considering this is the very first time he has been in a livestock show.  He’s learned a lot and is already looking forward to trying it again.

I have to say; I think that has been a great experience for him.  What a great way for a kid to learn discipline and responsibility.  At first I was concerned that I would be the one who would wind up taking care of Pancake.  You know how it is, a kid will make all the promises in the world to get a new pet and then the parents are the ones who wind up caring for the new pet.  Matt really was true to his word on the calf project however.  He bottle fed her, cleaned her stall, trained her and overall did a great job.

Sure it was a bit tough to giver her up but I tend to think that he has gained an experience that most kids never get.

And I dare you to tell me these kids don't love their cows!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Stuffed Shells

It’s time for the livestock show and Matt takes off for Perry, Georgia tomorrow after school with his calf Pancake in tow.  He won’t be back home until Saturday evening so I thought I would cook him a good home cooked meal.  Considering he will probably eat his weight in junk food over the next few days I thought it was a good idea.  I told him it was his choice.  “Whatever you want”, I said.

Me and my big mouth… 

He decided that he would really like some stuffed shells like mom used to make, as he put it.  After I choked back my desire to convince him that he might like something else, I simply said, “Great, but I can’t promise you they’ll be like mom’s”.  He said that was okay since I was a pretty good cook he figured they might even be better.  I took that as a challenge…

Of course, I had no idea how to make stuffed shells.  That’s what Google is for though.  And how hard could it be, right?  I found what looked to be a good recipe and during lunch stopped by the grocery store to pick up everything.

Coming home with all the required ingredients, I dove right into it.  It wasn’t that difficult but did have several steps and took a couple of hours.  It took me until nearly 7:00 to even get it in the oven.  That might not sound like late to most folk but I usually like to have dinner on the table by at least 6:00.  Anyhow, I tossed it in the oven after snapping the attached picture and threw together a Caesar Salad.

It turned out really good.  Matt said that it was the best meal we have had all year and that they were better than mom’s stuffed shells.  I must admit that they were pretty good.  The best part to me, however, was the fact that I had another whole 9 X 13 dish full of them that I am putting into the freezer to pull out for another meal in a couple of weeks.  That really makes it worth all the work.

It’s going to be awfully quiet around here the next few days.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Milk Run

I had just about forgotten that tomorrow is Valentines day till I walked into the grocery store tonight.

If I had just not ran out of milk...

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Super Sunday

No I’m NOT talking football.

Anyone who’s been reading this long enough or knows me personally knows that I don’t watch sports.  In particular, I don’t watch football.  I’ve never understood the pre occupation with sports and being able to regurgitate useless sports trivia.  I don’t think I will ever find enjoyment in watching a bunch of overpaid morally challenged thugs run up and down a court or field.  And before you say anything, yes I know that they are not all thugs and that some of them are pretty good men.  Be that as it may, I can find any number of things that I would rather spend my time on.

No, I’m talking about the pure and simple fact that it’s just been a super Sunday.  Actually it’s been a pretty dang good week.

I wrapped up the week spending the entire day with Matt and William at the University of Georgia.  They were both nominated for the Georgia Governors Honor program that will be held at Valdosta State University this summer.  They both made it to the state finals selection and had the final interview yesterday.  On Friday, we attended an all day event for all the state finalists that UGA held.  It was more of a recruitment exercise for UGA but the boys got a really good idea of what the college has to offer.  While the non-stop recruitment got a bit old, the overall experience was very informative and I think both of the boys have a new interest in attending UGA.

Hopefully both the boys did well with the final interviews and make the final selection.  They wont be announcing the results for some time.  The Georgia General Assembly has to approve the funding for the program on an annual basis and they wont do that for a couple of months.  Both the boys have a backup plan just in case. 

UGA has the Young Scholars Internship that they have both applied for as a backup.  I almost hope they get into that program instead.  It’s a paid internship (which is always good) and they would get to spend the summer at UGA working in the field with a research scientist for the entire summer.  They would be paired with a researcher that is doing work in an area that they have interest in.

As for today, I suppose its been super for a couple of reasons.  The day started out a bit tenuous but wound up getting better.  I was experiencing a good bit of anxiety this morning and it was a bit of work to fight it off.  Then all of a sudden this afternoon I had a clam come over me.  I felt so calm and easy it made me actually smile.  Maybe it was the music I was listening to.  Maybe it was the wonderful weather we had today.  Maybe it was something I ate.  I don’t know what it was but I sure enjoyed it.  It sure beats feelings on the other end of the spectrum that I wind up toiling with so often.  I’m still amazed at the emotional swings that I still experience. 

I don’t know why I appreciate feeling good so much, but I do.  Maybe it’s due to the fact that I’ve experienced feeling so bad for so long. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it sure feels good to feel good.