About Me

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Watkinsville, Georgia, United States
We lost my beautiful wife of 20 years on 9/12/07. Lisa was my world she was my everything and now she is gone. We are learning to live without Lisa now. I say we because I am not alone. My children are stuck in this mess with me. These are my notes, my vent, my way of letting you all know that we are doing well (some days). This is for myself, my friends and my family that want to know how we are doing and what we are up to. Along the way I hope this might also help someone else who has been dealt a similar hand.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A Double Edged Sword

Grief is a blessing…

NO, I haven’t lost my mind or taken to drink in excess.  I have just been blessed with a mind that thinks non-stop and likes to excessively examine things and look at them from every perspective.  A, long ago, mentor once told me that knowledge is power.  He said that if you are knowledgeable about something then you can make meaningful and informed decisions about it.  He also went on to say that you can think something to death and that you will never have all the information that is available so at a point you need to let the bullets fly.  On the subject of grief, I would say that I have analyzed it and thought it to death and it may be time to let the bullets fly.  And while I am not a trained professional I have experienced my share of it.  So, here it is…

Greif is a blessing at the same time it is a curse.

It compels you to look deep within yourself as it forces you to look all around you. 

It forces you into a corner as it helps you to step out in new directions. 

It changes you for the better and for the worse. 

It will scar you at the same time it heals you.

It is noxious at the same time it is beneficial.

It has made me sad while it has forced me to smile upon things.

It rips away what is not important while building up what is really important.

It is the same for all while being different for each.

It can make you question and drive you closer to it.

It can blind you yet help you to see things more clearly.

It can help you love more deeply and make you hate more intensely.

It can harden you at the same time it softens you.

I think that some may have trouble understanding all this but I also think that those of you who have experienced what I and many others have will understand how grief can be a curse at the same time it is a blessing.

This post is dedicated to my friend Janine whom inspired it.


  1. This is a great post .... and I was planning on posting that even before I read that last sentence.
    Thank you, my friend. You made me smile.