About Me

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Watkinsville, Georgia, United States
We lost my beautiful wife of 20 years on 9/12/07. Lisa was my world she was my everything and now she is gone. We are learning to live without Lisa now. I say we because I am not alone. My children are stuck in this mess with me. These are my notes, my vent, my way of letting you all know that we are doing well (some days). This is for myself, my friends and my family that want to know how we are doing and what we are up to. Along the way I hope this might also help someone else who has been dealt a similar hand.

Monday, May 24, 2010


Holy cow, that conversation got way too personal way too fast.

It all started with a simple hello...

We took Abby to her new camp assignment Sunday afternoon.  It was the first day for all the camp counselors to come together and all the parents and family were invited to attend the dinner.  These things are always awkward for us since inevitably some goof will ask me which of the other ladies in the room is my wife.

We were trying to mingle and meet some of the folks when Abby introduced Matt and me to one of the ladies that run the camp.  The lady, acknowledge both Matt and me and then dropped the bomb on Abby.  “So is your mother here?” she asked…  Abby was a trouper however and quickly beat me to the draw.  I normally try to be on guard for that sort of thing and field those questions for the kids when I can.  Abby was on her “A” game at the time and beat me to it.  It was a good thing since I was in a witty mood and was about to reply, if she is – we are all in for one hell of a big surprise.  Abby just said “no my momma died three years ago in an accident”.  I could tell by the way she was wringing her hands she was not comfortable.  The woman quickly responded that she had just lost her fiancĂ© a few months ago.

I not sure what prompts people to do that…  Like it’s going to make us feel any better knowing that they have suffered a loss also…?  And Abby lost her MOM not some boyfriend.  It was her mother for Pete-sake not someone she had know a few months or a year.  Her MOM, the woman that gave birth to her and loved her for 17 years.  The most important person in the her world…

She then tried to tell us how sorry she was for our loss.  I tried to graciously tell her that it was fine and we were okay and move the conversation along.  But no… She just continued to babble on about it.  Thankfully, it was just about that time we gave the blessing and got in line for dinner.  The kids and me made a dash for the line.  And heck, nothing says loving like fried chicken, green beans and mashed potatoes.

So the kids filled their plates and I grabbed a glass of tea.  I looked for the open bar but then remembered we were at a 4-H function.  As we sat down to the banquet table I looked up to see this nice lady had decided to join us.  They really should consider an open bar at these functions.  That or I’m going to need to start packing a flask.  I suppose she didn’t think that she had jostled us enough or ruffled our feathers quite enough.  That’s when she took over the conversation and began to tell us her life story.

Married twenty years then divorced… engaged to a wonderful guy who died before he could marry her… ex-husband sold his company to a major corporation for a what sounded like a whole lot of money… no longer needs to work and just travels… two kids 18 and 27… blaa blaa blaa blaa…

The kids and I continued to be cordial and tried to appear interested in her conversation.  It was finally time to leave so Matt and I gave Abby a big hug and wished her luck.  I no sooner heard the door close behind us when Matt grabbed me by the arm, looked me dead in the eye and said… Holy cow, that conversation got way to personal way too fast. 

All I could do was laugh… That boy cracks me up…

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