About Me

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Watkinsville, Georgia, United States
We lost my beautiful wife of 20 years on 9/12/07. Lisa was my world she was my everything and now she is gone. We are learning to live without Lisa now. I say we because I am not alone. My children are stuck in this mess with me. These are my notes, my vent, my way of letting you all know that we are doing well (some days). This is for myself, my friends and my family that want to know how we are doing and what we are up to. Along the way I hope this might also help someone else who has been dealt a similar hand.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Clearing Ahead

The kids are back in school and we are all falling into our weekly routines.  Matt is finally getting himself out of the bed without me being his alarm clock and Abby is settling back into the grove of being back home.  Everyone is back on a normal daily schedule with classes and after school activities.  While many might think a normal routine like this is boring and dreary, I find comfort in it.  It gives me a “normal feeling” that I have deeply missed over the last few years.  I obtain a sense of tranquility quietly sitting here tapping on the keys of my laptop while the kids grind away at homework and school studies.

It will soon be my favorite time of year.  The leaves will soon start turning and the morning air will turn crisp and dryer.  I’ll shortly be finding excuses to get outside without being stifled by oppressive heat and humidity.  It will soon be cool enough to spend whole days out in the shop cutting, milling and sanding chunks of wood into something beautiful and useful.  Even with power tools running and the air filled with wood dust I tend to transcend into a hushed state of ease when I’m out there.  Even as I slide a piece of wood across the table saw with my fingers mere inches from a spinning saw blade I am at ease and without fear.       

Even with September approaching I feel more at peace than I have all year.  There is just something about being back in our routines that helps me calm down and relax to a larger degree.  In fact I’m not even dreading the approach of September like I have for the past couple of years.  Don’t get me wrong, I truly have learned to despise that day on the calendar and pray for it to pass quickly and without incident.  However, this year it feels different for some reason.  I suppose every year it tends to feel a little different… Maybe that’s just the passage of time…  The passage of healing time…

Still, I know better than to let my guard down.  One thing I have learned over the past three years is that every time I think I’m out of the woods, another forest seems to be standing there in front of me.  Nevertheless, with every thicket that I fight my way through I become stronger and more resolute.  I know that there will be another clearing ahead that will give me time to rest and recover before diving into yet another forest filled with dense underbrush.  It’s in those clearings, I have a chance to clear my head and regain my energy. 

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