About Me

My photo
Watkinsville, Georgia, United States
We lost my beautiful wife of 20 years on 9/12/07. Lisa was my world she was my everything and now she is gone. We are learning to live without Lisa now. I say we because I am not alone. My children are stuck in this mess with me. These are my notes, my vent, my way of letting you all know that we are doing well (some days). This is for myself, my friends and my family that want to know how we are doing and what we are up to. Along the way I hope this might also help someone else who has been dealt a similar hand.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Speechless


Writing has been a valued and cathartic exercise for me over the past few years.  Writhing in my journal or here on my blog.  It’s proven to be a dependable exercise that can help me think thing through and get things out so I don’t simply implode under an unseen weight. 

It’s not often that I don’t know what to say when I sit down to write but that’s been the case over the last few days.

You see, a parents worst nightmare came to true this past Friday when they received a call much like the one I received three years ago.  The call was to let them know that their beloved son had been in an accident and not survived.

And here I sit frozen… I know not what to say or do…

I want to reach out to them.  I want to comfort them.  I want to help them in some way but I cant. 

I couldn’t even bring myself to attend the funeral and I feel just horrible.  I suppose for the most part due to the fact that it was held in our church.  In the very sanctuary that we held Lisa’s memorial service.  I suppose I could find many more excuses but when I search my heart the bottom line is I just couldn’t do it.

I feel so very inadequate and struggle with the senseless loss.  All I seem to be able to mutter is why.  Why.  Why.  Why…

Although even as my old wound is opened and pains me I can’t help but think about what this family is dealing with.  I can’t help but think about how much they must be hurting and reeling from this devastating news.  They have such a long and arduous road ahead.

It’s just so sad…

No comments:

Post a Comment