About Me

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Watkinsville, Georgia, United States
We lost my beautiful wife of 20 years on 9/12/07. Lisa was my world she was my everything and now she is gone. We are learning to live without Lisa now. I say we because I am not alone. My children are stuck in this mess with me. These are my notes, my vent, my way of letting you all know that we are doing well (some days). This is for myself, my friends and my family that want to know how we are doing and what we are up to. Along the way I hope this might also help someone else who has been dealt a similar hand.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Tree Time

Thanksgiving was the first holiday that we had to endure after we lost Lisa that September.

I was still in shock and lost.  Grappling with a mountain of anxiety and fear, the last thing I needed was the stress of the holidays.

I decided that we needed to get away.  I may have been running away but it was the only way I could deal with the holiday.  I didn’t want to stay home or go to her folks or my folks place.  I needed somewhere I could hide.  I needed somewhere new with no memories.  My Brother was headed to Savannah to his In-Laws and secured us an invitation to join them.

The drive to Savannah was horrible and I literally almost had a nervous breakdown in the process.  Taking our first family trip to an unfamiliar place on unfamiliar roads was just about enough to push me over the edge.  Just about the time I was about to fall apart we made it.

And that’s kind of how things have gone over the last three years.  Just about time I don’t think I’m going to make it, I do…

I wouldn’t say that the holidays have gotten any better but I will admit that they have gotten a little easier.  I still loath holidays but I do find the fortitude to endure them a bit more. 

That first year we were in Savannah and last year we stayed home but spent the day with some very dear friends.  This year we spent Thanksgiving with my folks in Alabama or as the kids like to call it “opossum hollow”.  While I love my family, these get-togethers still drag me down.  I tend to feel like an oddity and a third wheel when we all get together.

We’re back home today and there’s work to be done.  Matt and I will head out this morning to find a tree.  I think this year I’m going to let Matt run the chain saw.  As for me, I’m going to put a smile on my face and try to hide the fact that I’d rather burn the tree than decorate it… 

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