About Me

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Watkinsville, Georgia, United States
We lost my beautiful wife of 20 years on 9/12/07. Lisa was my world she was my everything and now she is gone. We are learning to live without Lisa now. I say we because I am not alone. My children are stuck in this mess with me. These are my notes, my vent, my way of letting you all know that we are doing well (some days). This is for myself, my friends and my family that want to know how we are doing and what we are up to. Along the way I hope this might also help someone else who has been dealt a similar hand.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Running On Empty


I tend to march through the year in sections or better yet in semesters.  A week off during the summer holds me until winter break and so forth.  I tend to find that as the next break is coming up my batteries run down.  They’re running really low at this point as can seen in my lack of writing here lately. 

If I hold my breath I think I can make one more week.  One more week until spring break for Matt and a weeks vacation for me.  It’s amazing what a week off will do for me however.  A whole week of eight or more hours of sleep each night.  A week filled with trout fishing, down time, naps and no corporate structure. While I hope for good weather I could care less.  I would fish in the rain at this point.

Can you tell I’m ready for a little time off?

We received exciting news on Friday.  The finalist list for the Georgia Governors’ Honors program was posted on Friday at 4:00.  I received a text message from Matt at 4:15 that he had been awarded a slot to attend the prestigious four-week program at Valdosta State University.  In fact not only did Matt make the final cut but his best bud William also had been selected.  This is a huge honor for both of them and will be a great highlight on any college application.  I am very proud and happy for both of them.  It’s starting to sound like it’s going to be a very quiet summer around here…

That’s okay though as I am continuing to redefine myself and live my life rather than merely live my Life Without Lisa…

4 comments:

  1. Chris,

    I stumbled onto your blog and to be honest I feel like a voyeur, reading about your life, seeing personal photos, reading about your children’s successes, and being able to read about the pain you are still experiencing. I am impressed with your ability to maintain a blog and to write abut topics that everyone can relate to. I am not only talking about the loss of a loved one but also about the every day happenings a single parent goes through. For example; shopping with your daughter or understanding that as a child gets older, they are preparing to strike out on their own. The time spent at home will become less and less so you have to be ready to grab the unexpected opportunities and make them count. I wonder if a part of you feels like time flies faster and faster to the extent you want to say “STOP, I am not ready for you to get older, there is so much I still want to do with you”.

    You sound like a good and loving father. Your children are blessed to be surrounded with that kind of love.

    Anne

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  2. First, Anne, don’t feel like a voyeur. I share all this with you and my other followers for a number of reasons. First and foremost it has been an outlet for me. Writing this “public journal” has been on of the most cathartic things that I have done and has probably done more for me than most therapists could. I say most because I know one really amazing one. Also, I like to think that it has helped not just me but others that have or are going through something like this. I say something like this because it’s so different for all of us. And, I like to think that it has helped my family understand where I am and who I am. I say who I am, because all this has changed me in many ways.

    Next, thank you so much for your comment and kind words. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I always hope to have a comment or two when I go to my site. So, again thank you.

    Lastly, I would say yes AND no. Sometimes, yes, I wish the calendar would slow down just a little bit. Some days it feels like the time has just flown by and I can’t believe that it’s already been three and a half years. At times I do want to say, “stop, things are just getting good and I don’t want you to leave”. Then again, sometimes, I’m completely ready finish up my job of raising the kids. Don’t get me wrong, I love them and love spending time with them. However, I would eventually like to focus on my future and myself also. At any rate, my time will be here soon enough…

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  3. Congrats to Matt!! And you really are a great dad. And you're not so bad as a mom, either. :)

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  4. Thanks on both counts JTE. I am thrilled for Matt and think this is just what he needs. I think it will be good for him to get a mini four-week college experience. I am looking forward to seeing him spread his wings a bit.

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