About Me

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Watkinsville, Georgia, United States
We lost my beautiful wife of 20 years on 9/12/07. Lisa was my world she was my everything and now she is gone. We are learning to live without Lisa now. I say we because I am not alone. My children are stuck in this mess with me. These are my notes, my vent, my way of letting you all know that we are doing well (some days). This is for myself, my friends and my family that want to know how we are doing and what we are up to. Along the way I hope this might also help someone else who has been dealt a similar hand.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Paper & Bows

I have not gotten any better at wrapping gifts… Lisa always wrapped all the gifts. Heck, I can even remember her wrapping my brothers gifts for him a couple of times when he was still single and spent Christmas with us. He would roll in on Christmas eve and have bags full of stuff for the kids. Lisa didn’t approve of his wrapping paper which consisted of big black hefty bags and some of those pre-made bows. She would wait until the kids went to bed and then she would wrap his stuff for him. That was some years ago and now he has a family of his own and a wonderful wife that wraps his gifts for him.

Yesterday evening Matt was out and I was alone again. I decided to spend some time at the kitchen table wrapping the few gifts that I have found time to purchase. It was pretty quiet so I did the same thing Lisa did. I put on some Christmas music went to work on the gifts. The memories flooded back to me. I tried to live in the moment and just enjoy the task at hand. I could imagine her in my mind tenderly wrapping each gift and making the bows by hand. I was always amazed at how wonderful her wrapping looked and how beautiful her bows were.

I could think of nothing but her and all the years that we had spent together. It continues to get easier to think about her without it hurting so very much. Two years ago, this task would have meant a melt down and the feeling of complete and utter devastation. Yesterday, though, it felt good to think about her. I was comfortable in my thoughts and delighted with her presents in my mind. Yesterday it was almost like she was there looking over my shoulder with disapproval as I stuck those tacky little pre-made bows on the packages. I am sure, however, she was approving the fact that I at least did not use those big black hefty bags for wrapping.

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