About Me

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Watkinsville, Georgia, United States
We lost my beautiful wife of 20 years on 9/12/07. Lisa was my world she was my everything and now she is gone. We are learning to live without Lisa now. I say we because I am not alone. My children are stuck in this mess with me. These are my notes, my vent, my way of letting you all know that we are doing well (some days). This is for myself, my friends and my family that want to know how we are doing and what we are up to. Along the way I hope this might also help someone else who has been dealt a similar hand.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Beach Done

My favorite picture of the trip... She looks so much like her mother!

Home at last... Other than one tough night for me, the trip overall was enjoyable. It was really different. It was hard to see all the families in an around the hotel but it brought back many wonderful memories. The kids seemed to have a great time and did not seem to miss a beat. They seemed to be very comfortable and at home in the hotel. The weather was great and it was wonderful to be back at the beach. There is something magical about the beach and ocean. It seems to be cleansing and rejuvenating in some way. Everything was nice and who wouldn't be happy to spend a few days at the Ritz, but I was glad to leave and get back home. I think Abby bringing a friend along was a very good idea and I was happy that Katie came. It gave us some balance in that Matt had me and Abby had Katie. The girls were so funny and care free that they tended to make me forget my troubles. Not to mention that Katie is a wonderful young lady. She is one of those kids that just makes you smile and you are always happy to see come around. She's one of those kids that make you say, I hope my kid turns out as good as that. Katie is a bright light.

The ride home was a bit hard. Katie rode back with Abby and since Matt is staying a week with my brother I rode back alone. Six hours of driving gives one a lot of time to think about things. I am sure you can guess what I thought about most if not all the way home. I replayed memories of Lisa the whole way home. Sometimes I wish that I could wipe the slate clean and have no memory and then other days I am glad that I have these memories. I suppose its like I told my good friend Mike last night, what makes this whole thing so terribly difficult is that there seems to be no end in sight. When you're sick you know you will get well. You know there will be an end. I just don't see a light at the end of the tunnel on this. It's like there is no end to this and I am stuck for the rest of my life in this treadmill cycle of grief. Granted there are good days and bad but I just wish that I could work toward a goal... an end... but I just don't see it.

One of the ladies at the hotel was very nice to us and was kind enough to let me take up some of her time talking with me. Miss Shelia works at the hotel. I think she is like the International Corporate Vice President of Guest Relations, not really but she should be. She was very kind to me and the kids. She even gave us some very nice gifts when we checked out. Of which included a pair of Ritz Rubber Duckies. Now that might not sound like much but these rubber duckies are much sought after treasures. I remember several years ago that Lisa tried to get her hands on a pair of these duckies and was unsuccessful. In particular is the rare and elusive Ritz Princess Rubber Ducky. Abby immediately found a home for the Princess Ducky on the dash of her car. I have no doubt that it will remain there for a long time. I owe Miss Shelia a big thank you for making out stay that much more enjoyable.

I also owe a big thank you to Mike and Barbie. They were kind enough to take care of our little dog Ally while we were gone. We have never left Ally at the kennel and usually leave her with Lisa's folks. They were not able to keep her this time so we called on Mike and Barbie. Unfortunately, Ally was sick while we were gone and required a bit more attention than normal. If she had to be sick I could not think of any better people for her to have been with. I just hate that Mike an Barbie got stuck with the mess. I suppose all things tend to work at for a reason. Mike and Barbie are dog people and Lisa's mom and dad don't have pets. So, I suppose if Ally had to be sick, it was good that she was with people that know pets in particular dogs. So thank you again to Mike and Barbie.

Ally is on the mend, Abby is off with a friend, Matt is in Jacksonville, and all the chores were done before we left for the beach. I need to get moving and find something to keep me occupied. There is plenty to do around here, I just need to figure out what I want to tackle.

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