About Me

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Watkinsville, Georgia, United States
We lost my beautiful wife of 20 years on 9/12/07. Lisa was my world she was my everything and now she is gone. We are learning to live without Lisa now. I say we because I am not alone. My children are stuck in this mess with me. These are my notes, my vent, my way of letting you all know that we are doing well (some days). This is for myself, my friends and my family that want to know how we are doing and what we are up to. Along the way I hope this might also help someone else who has been dealt a similar hand.

Sunday, May 24, 2009


Its Sunday morning and time to get the kids up for church. The boys finally all left yesterday around 11:00 and Matt crashed pretty hard. After a good long shower, he laid down on the coach to watch a bit of television. He lasted about 15 minutes before he fell slap asleep. He slept until almost 8 p.m. and only woke long enough for us to get something to eat.

I spent most of the day yesterday cleaning up the house and cutting the pastures. The weeds are coming on strong and about the only way to keep them from taking over completely is to keep them cut back. Riding a tractor for a couple of hours gives you a lot of time to think about things. Of course one of the main things I wind up thinking about is Lisa.

I am grappling with something. How do I not get overly wrapped up in my own problems and forget about others? I find that I can become so wrapped up with my issues that I forget about others. I forget that others have problems and issues also. It is important for me to be a good Father, Son, Brother and Friend. I have to find a balance in my life when it comes to this issue. I have, for many years, believed that the key to life is moderation. With that in mind I think that I have to find that moderation or balance in how wrapped up I get in my own issues. I have to force myself to stop thinking about my situation and remember that there are many others in my life that are also struggling with issues of their own. The thing is, it all seems to come back to Lisa. I like to think about her. I cant tell you how many times I look at a picture of her and just get this big grin on my face. I enjoy remembering her. However, thinking about her and dwelling on her are two different things.

I go from thinking to dwelling and then I start to get sad and depressed. Thats not what I want to do. Is there some point where one can move on? Is there some point that I can get to that allows me to not dwell but also not just completely forget? Is there a balance for me out there somewhere?

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