I still struggle with these quiet mornings. For the past two mornings I have opened all the doors to let the cool morning air into the house and watched the sun come up. It is so calm quiet and cool. I really do enjoy this time of day with the exception of missing Lisa. It makes me think about a lot. One of the things that I am being forced to consider is the future. I think that I am drifting from grieving to loneliness. Jamie has been on me pretty hard to start dating. She says that I need to get out and meet someone. She says that I need to join a gym or take a class just to meet someone. Thing is, she's been telling me this for almost a year now. I am starting to think that she is right. I never have liked being alone. Matt leaves for camp in another week and I will be alone for two straight weeks. It's going to be way to quiet around here. I keep thinking that maybe as I get used to it, being alone it may not be so bad. Maybe it's missing Lisa that I hate so much and not the being alone that I hate. I suppose what I am saying is maybe I have not given it a chance. I don't know, this one is driving me crazy along with Jamie.
I am looking forward to this fall. I am still holding off on planting any more shrubs until this fall. My Hydrangeas are looking great but requiring constant watering. I don't want to drag a hose around the yard for the rest of the summer. I will no doubt be able to get a lot of plants on sale this fall also.
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