About Me

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Watkinsville, Georgia, United States
We lost my beautiful wife of 20 years on 9/12/07. Lisa was my world she was my everything and now she is gone. We are learning to live without Lisa now. I say we because I am not alone. My children are stuck in this mess with me. These are my notes, my vent, my way of letting you all know that we are doing well (some days). This is for myself, my friends and my family that want to know how we are doing and what we are up to. Along the way I hope this might also help someone else who has been dealt a similar hand.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

To Be Or Not To Be --Alone

I still struggle with these quiet mornings. For the past two mornings I have opened all the doors to let the cool morning air into the house and watched the sun come up. It is so calm quiet and cool. I really do enjoy this time of day with the exception of missing Lisa. It makes me think about a lot. One of the things that I am being forced to consider is the future. I think that I am drifting from grieving to loneliness. Jamie has been on me pretty hard to start dating. She says that I need to get out and meet someone. She says that I need to join a gym or take a class just to meet someone. Thing is, she's been telling me this for almost a year now. I am starting to think that she is right. I never have liked being alone. Matt leaves for camp in another week and I will be alone for two straight weeks. It's going to be way to quiet around here. I keep thinking that maybe as I get used to it, being alone it may not be so bad. Maybe it's missing Lisa that I hate so much and not the being alone that I hate. I suppose what I am saying is maybe I have not given it a chance. I don't know, this one is driving me crazy along with Jamie.

I am looking forward to this fall. I am still holding off on planting any more shrubs until this fall. My Hydrangeas are looking great but requiring constant watering. I don't want to drag a hose around the yard for the rest of the summer. I will no doubt be able to get a lot of plants on sale this fall also.

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